Olivia Callender © An Old Scar from the series “The Objective Life”

I’m in pain and I’m tired of it. Only 25 more days till the doctors tells me it could be this or it could be that but in the end they won’t know. It’s a shitty situation. 

On a lighter note this movie was very good. They bill it like some star crossed love story but it’s not really. I find it’s all in the cuts. 

Yeah so that’s me dancing around and flashing myself in the face with an alien bee. Photo by a kid in my class named Ash.

I’ve having the worst time trying to sleep at my childhood home. I used to have the worst insomnia as a kid and I’m wondering now if it has something to do with this place and this place alone. I’ve somehow become even more oversensitive to light and the sound of my brother moving about at 3:00am in the morning. I have to use earplugs. It’s ridiculous. 

When I finally fell asleep (the second time after my 9:00 o’clock alarm that i could not abide and get up to) I had the strangest dream about being in an old school playhouse. There was a movie about to be shown but instead of isle seating people were at little tables ordering snacks and cocktails. I was with my family but was sitting apart with them and more with my sister. There was also an old woman trying to trap me in a converstation about something I’ve now forgotten. 

When the movie began, I swear to you even in my dream, I thought I had seen it somewhere. It was rather art house like, with an overdub monolouge, which I remebered quite clearly when I first woke up. Now it’s jumbled, but it went something ike “and the man with great energy rode his horse past the desert and into the sea chasing after his enemy.” This was accompanied with the images of a very gregarious looking man in Monogolian armor riding a large brown steed into crashing waves. He was chasing after what at fist looked like a large battle ship but upon reaching it was nothing more than a one man boat made to appear like one.

The man seemed very pleased with his victory and the monolouge continued thus “having noticed his steed was in desperate need of air” at yhis point you got a view of air bubbles coming up from the horse “he rode him quickly to land only to be capture and placed in the highest prison tower. But he did not stay there for long” the tower, which was black and red, was knocked over some how and it all plumeted onto its side. When the man exited he was till beneath a red canopy of cloth afraid to exit since there was a battle being going on. He was about to make for his exit when behind the curtain a large figure stood and then pressed forward. Two very large lips came through the curtain first and kissed the man’s whole face, he stepped back wet. “not knowing, and surely not believing the other man to be his father he drew his sword, and yet he was disturbed by the similarity between himself and the man, all except, of course, the gargantuan lips.”

And then my phone rung, waking me from that fantastically familiar but odd dream. Now who was to be on the line but Almaz Wilson calling to apologetically cancel our portrait session and meet up on account of feeling unwell. So Almaz if I sounded strange it was the dream not you, and my shitty phone that get’s no reception anywhere. So I hope you heard me say get better and goodbye instead of rude silence. 

In other news, today was not a good day but my mother says Mars (my planet) is in retrograde and maybe by next week things will finally begin to work out my way. 

God I hope so.