“Street fashion”, November 2012, Olivia Callender ©

I’m always apprehensive about writing personal information on this blog for multiple reasons. My father’s paranoia (He once scolded me for sharing health issues for fear of insurance men reading and taking advantage of it)… Caribbean ethics of ‘don’t talk about family business’, and general weariness, but what is a blog if not a personal dairy.

My mother lost her job today. She’s in her 50s having to hit the pavement, with numerous bills, debts and a neck and back injury, which she has to receive treatment for.

 My mother worked in fashion as a fabric sourcer. For those who don’t know, fabric sourcing is imperative creating the designers ideas for a new line. My mother is good at her job. She knows about fabrics, she’s a classically trained textile artist for christ sake. Who could know more about fabric sourcing than a woman who knows the intricacies of making it? Most designers don’t know jack all about fabrics and when they want to make a structured coat out of linen, who tells them it won’t work, my mother.

I just can’t believe that a person with so much work experience would be tossed aside. I know it’s the difficulties of our times and her position had three people in it but, I don’t know, she’s always been so devoted to her work. She needed a fucking alarm to tell her when to leave damn it! 

Now in the end I’m sure she’ll get another job and I won’t have to throw into the collective pot. I was down to, told her how much I got in the bank, and I would because lord knows like most American children I am massively spoiled and should give back but the sad truth is I have debts to pay. So now it’s just a tightening of the belt, no healthcare for me. Thank goodness I never get sick and I got that other thing sorted to the best of my ability.

In the end really I’m just bummed for a woman who’s not meant to be idle. 

God save my brother who still lives at home… 

Olivia Callender© From the Stepkids Music Video  “Shadows on the behalf” 

Flurry of work work work feeling good good good (then anxious then bad then sensitive *sorry baby*) but I’m being focused and working at standing up for my own decisions, which is nice. 

Olivia Callender© 

I’m so cold, my mother’s house is freezing. 

Her English blood keeps her warm I suppose

Mine wants to go back to barbados

I’m feeling a little down

It’s cause I hate the snow 

I’m not young and no one wants to build snow kingdoms with me

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PHOTO LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING CHEMICAL STAINS!!!!! 

This is what happens when you try and get your film developed outside of the city (or a place without reviews).

For all of you near the Huntington area never EVER get your film developed at Camera & Video no matter how many times they tell you they process film there or how LONG they have been there. I was terribly terribly led astray, and to top it off it cost 6 dollars more than were I usually process my film. $11.00 for horribly streaked, unusable film that they didn’t even bother to put into a negative slip holder. I thought, hey worth the price since nobody develops film in this area, I’m such an asshole. 

I could spit I’m so livid, if I have time tomorrow before going back to the city I’m going to tear them a new one. 

FACE PALM MYSELF SILLY FOR BEING SO GULLIBLE…..